I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
