bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
