i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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