perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
In America we eat man semen.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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