also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
