College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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