That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
