if i can run in heels then i can drive
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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