Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
