I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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