is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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