My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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