You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
