I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
