Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
