i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
