That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
