she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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