If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize
