he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I've blown a few things in my day
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
