so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
