are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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