god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
BRING THE BAGELS
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
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