so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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