so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
