ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
