i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
