Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
