her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
