Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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