This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
