I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
