The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
