Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
