idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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