I should be sponsored by Trojan
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Randomize
