playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
