at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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