now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
i black out too much to be "responsible"
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
