R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
