Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
fuck your aforementioned shoe
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
