Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
