I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
