I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize