CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
The adults are the big ones right?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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