but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
