he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
