This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
