i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
