He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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