She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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