I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
