so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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