I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
