Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
