I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
tequila makes me forget i have legs
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Randomize
