Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
