I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
no you cant smoke seaweed
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
