Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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