Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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