I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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