even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
