Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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