Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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