you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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