Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize