Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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