I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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