this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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