I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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