Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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